And no this isn’t the song from Disney. It’s my life…
There are a few things new in my world and one thing that is new for everyone in their life. Such as covid, which will be mentioned here and there. First of all, who had ever thought that something like this could or ever would happen. There are probably people who did, but I wasn’t one of them.
For me there were so many things that changed, first of all, I got officially diagnosed with ADHD in 2018, got engaged in 2019, went on to find out if I’m autistic or not, and got that diagnosis in 2021. We got married in 2020, just a week before the Dutch lockdown, which was lucky for us. We became pregnant in 2020, lost the first pregnancy at 9 weeks and 4 days, and got pregnant four months later. Which resulted in a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Who is at the moment 4,5 months and stays hopefully asleep for another 45 minutes.
Those are just a few things, so much more happened. I became an author in 2019, published my first book. Went to work from home for me and that was an amazing decision. Until covid, the lockdown, and the pregnancy. Things weren’t so great anymore. I couldn’t find my drive writing with the lockdown. I used to write with a friend of mine, but that stopped. I ended up with writer’s block, and with the pregnancy.
I was sick the first pregnancy, the second too. But the first felt off. I slept almost the whole day, couldn’t eat and was nauseated every second of those days. It was horrible, and the hormones. My head felt like a cotton candy party where I wasn’t invited. I couldn’t do anything except watch TV. I got nauseated from my computer screen. Which hurt me in two ways, I had expected to be writing while pregnant, that I could do that. Only I couldn’t and it made me more nauseous than I already was. So it sucked.
I love my little boy, and I would’ve loved the little baby from the first pregnancy as much. But I was in a way relieved that it didn’t go through. I know it’s harsh and terrible to say that. But something was off, I kept telling that my husband. And in a way it had to be like this, I knew now that I could handle a loss like that. The first pregnancy made me in a way more prepared for the second one. It made me more stressed too.
But as I said, life changed. I became so much in so little time and I do not think that I got used to all of them. Me writing here is a way to figure it all out, to jump from thought to thought. (get used to it!)
And to share my view of my own life, of being me mixed in with Motherhood, ADHD, Autism, wife.
This was just a step up to much more, a quick list of a few things. More will follow, keep on checking, keep on reading and most of all keep on smiling!