There’s this “strange” thing about me. I can and can’t deal with changes. Yes, you read that right because I have two types of changes. One that I decided to make, this is nine out of ten times fine for me, and I can handle that switch like I think everyone does. And the second is the one that happens outside my control. And that can be the weirdest, most minor thing, like not having the peanut butter in the right spot. This is an example; I’m alright with the peanut butter moving in the cabinet where it belongs. But it can also be a huge big deal and mess up my day. If you read Tiny Road Trip Time. you know how much it can mess me up!
A few examples are having a baby (obviously), changing careers, stepping out of my comfort zone, getting married, getting engaged, moving out of my mom’s house, buying a home together. Many others can impact my day and my mind. And they can influence me so much that I can’t work or handle minor changes. I still function; I can take care of AJ, myself, my husband when that happens. It just cost me more energy than usual.
I know I’m listing things that impact others, too, because they aren’t something you do daily. But a few other examples that are or can be hard to handle for me are when I have planned my day out in my mind, and it gets messed up because my husband needs to work late. Not having bananas in the grocery store because Covid made everyone buy bananas (yeah, weird! I thought TP was the one to get!) Having a delivery guy not show up in the timeframe they gave. A program on my computer is not working, and deciding to eat pizza but end up eating pasta. Having someone say they come over at two pm and end up an hour late. I dropped something that needs to be cleaned. I want to read something but do not know what.
All those changes that happen can influence my day, and it stays with that day, or maybe two. But some of these changes are so big it takes me months to get used to them. It took me a few months before I finally got used to being engaged—another few months to being married. I did figure out that it cost me roughly three months to get used to something.
Which when you are pregnant isn’t handy because, again, it took me three months to get used to the idea of being pregnant. Then the pregnancy changed, and I needed to get used to the next stage.
Still, every day with AJ is different; it is a new change. When I’m finally used to him doing one thing, I need to adjust and get used to another. It gets easier because I can place him in his own “box” in my mind, called AJ. And everything that happens inside that box is alright. It doesn’t work every day, but most days, yes. I can get through the day with new changes without costing me too much energy.
The same goes for the other changes, like work, stuff in the house, the husband. They all have boxes, and they have a limit that I can handle without getting overstimulated by them. As I said, it doesn’t work every day, and it depends on what happened and how much I wanted the day to go a certain way.
I’m still a long way from letting things go, letting them happen as they do, and not need to place them into boxes inside my mind to end up going with the flow. Having AJ and my husband makes it easier for me to learn. To adjust, adapt to what I see happening, and accept that they are a part of life.
But until I manage to accept it, too go with the flow. I’ll keep putting things in boxes, giving them labels so I can handle it all. And I’ll keep needing days to recharge to manage the next set of changes.