There are so many things I do to myself; I’m mostly talking about the pressure and stress I add to my life. The high quality I am looking for but absolutely not need, which I do know.
Still, I need to succeed in everything I do and be because of what I am worth without it.
Maybe this blog will remind me about all the things I am worth.
• I am a wonderful writer and storyteller.
• An excellent graphic designer.
• A business owner for more than three years now.
• Creative person.
• I am pushing my boundaries.
• I am finding new solutions every day.
• We are living with ADHD and doing perfectly fine.
• I am finding new ways to enhance my autism in my favor.
All these things and, provably, more are what I am worth. But with almost everything I wrote down, I could write down a counterpart.
Something negative popped up in my mind with it.
• I am a wonderful writer and storyteller; why aren’t you writing if you are so amazing?
• I am an excellent graphic designer. So where are those designs?
• A business owner for three years. And what do you have to show for that three years? Two of them you spend doing nothing!
And I can go on about being hard-working, creative, pushing my boundaries, and finding new ways. Almost all of them have a counterpart. And yes, why am I not being better? Why am I not doing what I love? A question I ask myself every day. Words that are whispered in my nightmares and do not seem to have any answers. I can come up with some, but they do feel like excuses.
Hello, the grass is a greener game! Nice of you to stop by. *face smack*
I had a child; growing a human is hard work, and raising a baby too!
You have been tired and getting used to your new life.
It is alright; you do so much already.
Self-care is essential too.
Look where you have come from.
See what you have achieved already.
You have a legacy!
All these things are true. But they also make me angry. Because, indeed, look where I have come, what I have achieved. But what about the following years? I am not a person to sit still and let my life drift past. But how do you fight the negativity to find the balance without giving up what you love?
This constant battle is wearing me down; I feel less and less like myself while I thought I had found myself.
How do you fight the battle against yourself?
Does anyone have any answer?
I have not, at least not really. I merely continue, and hopefully, someday, I’ll “stumble” upon it, either in a blog post or when I have a revelation sitting on the toilet.
For now, I just repeat the above worth list and ignore the counterparts.