Author Archives: Serena Nova

Would I rather not know?

The official diagnosis came around March 2021. This was one year and three months ago; time goes by quickly. I still ask myself, what if I hadn’t known? What would life look like then? I have no idea. There are days I do wish I didn’t know that I did not know I was autistic,Continue reading “Would I rather not know?”

Admitting to your fears.

I have help; once a week (if we manage to plan it), my coach comes to my house to talk, give suggestions, and help me explain things that have happened. At the moment, we mainly talk, as it’s one of the best ways for me to figure out problems I walk into. This time IContinue reading “Admitting to your fears.”

How do they do it?

I love the game “the grass is greener on the other side.” you might call it differently. But I always (even if I try not to) compare myself to others: other writers, other mothers, other women, or anyone who has something I would want to. I know it’s a horrible game, and I should stop.Continue reading “How do they do it?”

Aaah, how is the baby?

We all do it; we ask about the baby first, which is natural and all OK. It’s a new life, and it’s beautiful. I never felt left out when people came over to see AJ as a baby in the first weeks of his life. I found it perfectly fine that they didn’t ask meContinue reading “Aaah, how is the baby?”

Finding out how to plan my new life

I’ll probably write a few of these blog posts as this will be a trial and error kind of learning. So some posts may contradict one another; I try to remember what I have written before and adjust or link posts to each other. Still human, so please be kind if I say a firstContinue reading “Finding out how to plan my new life”

How I underestimated motherhood.

Being a mother was something I had expected I could do without even thinking about it. I am a caring and loving person; I was always the person who made sure my friends came home when they were drunk from a night out. For me mother, is described as a person who gives up everythingContinue reading “How I underestimated motherhood.”

My number one enemy

I am my enemy—at least one of them, but the biggest. My husband always said to me, stop thinking. And how I wished I could follow that advice. My medication for my ADHD helps, it slows it down, and that’s it. Which in a way, is enough for me. I wouldn’t want to shut downContinue reading “My number one enemy”

Feelings and how I (do not) handle them

We all have feelings, and we all handle them differently. I always get confused from mine. Mostly because I never knew if they were true or not. I saw how others dealt with their emotions and compared how I handled mine.It also didn’t help that my mother wasn’t an emotional person. I love her, andContinue reading “Feelings and how I (do not) handle them”

Feeling alone

I like being alone, doing my own thing. Only it’s not the same as feeling alone.Surrounded by my family and friends, I still feel invisible. It makes me feel alone. I wake up alone; I take care of AJ alone; I go to bed alone. And yes, my husband is there; he helps, and heContinue reading “Feeling alone”