I’ll probably write a few of these blog posts as this will be a trial and error kind of learning. So some posts may contradict one another; I try to remember what I have written before and adjust or link posts to each other. Still human, so please be kind if I say a firstContinue reading “Finding out how to plan my new life”
Tag Archives: Autism
How I underestimated motherhood.
Being a mother was something I had expected I could do without even thinking about it. I am a caring and loving person; I was always the person who made sure my friends came home when they were drunk from a night out. For me mother, is described as a person who gives up everythingContinue reading “How I underestimated motherhood.”
My number one enemy
I am my enemy—at least one of them, but the biggest. My husband always said to me, stop thinking. And how I wished I could follow that advice. My medication for my ADHD helps, it slows it down, and that’s it. Which in a way, is enough for me. I wouldn’t want to shut downContinue reading “My number one enemy”
Feelings and how I (do not) handle them
We all have feelings, and we all handle them differently. I always get confused from mine. Mostly because I never knew if they were true or not. I saw how others dealt with their emotions and compared how I handled mine.It also didn’t help that my mother wasn’t an emotional person. I love her, andContinue reading “Feelings and how I (do not) handle them”
Feeling alone
I like being alone, doing my own thing. Only it’s not the same as feeling alone.Surrounded by my family and friends, I still feel invisible. It makes me feel alone. I wake up alone; I take care of AJ alone; I go to bed alone. And yes, my husband is there; he helps, and heContinue reading “Feeling alone”
My (forever) growing toolbox
I have always been different from those around me. I noticed early on that I had to deal with it because I had to be “Normal” to fit in and be like the others.If I could time travel, I might have told myself to let that thought go slightly. A tiny bit, as it alsoContinue reading “My (forever) growing toolbox”
How pregnancy influenced me
I had never expected that my pregnancy would influence my brain this much. Our planning – and yes, we underestimated pregnancy a lot! – was for us to get pregnant (of course) and for me to be writing and still be working. Growing a baby wouldn’t be that hard, right?At the moment, I could slapContinue reading “How pregnancy influenced me”
Over stimulation now and then
There are two before and afters for me. One was before I got the diagnosis of Autism, and the second one was before I became a mom. Before I got the diagnosis, I did not think I had many problems with noise, light, people, busy places, and everything else. I did have days I endedContinue reading “Over stimulation now and then”
Be the wrecking ball in the world.
And I do not mean in the literal sense.What I do mean is, be me. Be my own perfect, achieve my own goals and expectations.Because I’ve always believed that people would watch me, judge me, and criticize me for who I am and what I do or say. They do because they do. Do IContinue reading “Be the wrecking ball in the world.”
Rewording words.
Why would a stool be a stool? Why has that name that meaning? I do know to rename a seat and have the whole world use the new name would be ridiculous. But why couldn’t I give some new meanings to words or rename certain words using similar versions? Who says I can’t do that.Continue reading “Rewording words.”
Motherhood, me and autism 