Autism as a straight jacket.

I feel trapped inside the diagnosis of autism, trapped in what I know about it, what I feel, and what isn’t or is autism. Autism, for me, is a freeing diagnosis that has started to become a straight jacket. Every week I, every day even, have to look at what I will be doing. AndContinue reading “Autism as a straight jacket.”

Tired and angry rant

I feel like I am giving up more and more… I can’t do too much; I can’t plan my weekends full, spontaneous meetings, watch a movie late, run when I want to or do anything unplanned with friends or my husband and child. Because if I do too much today, I am worth shit tomorrowContinue reading “Tired and angry rant”

The lone knight

I am who I am—a banana ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry. Cheerful, full of flavor, energy, and a pop of color. But I am always accompanied by a dark rich chocolate sauce that melts away the ice cream and covers everything with its powerful flavor. Overpowering everything I am or who IContinue reading “The lone knight”

When will he have a brother or sister?

I do not understand that question! First of all, who are you to ask that question? It doesn’t matter if you are family or not; the question is not yours to ask. It is always up to the parents, the two who will be raising that second child. I couldn’t believe it when I gotContinue reading “When will he have a brother or sister?”

My number one enemy

I am my enemy—at least one of them, but the biggest. My husband always said to me, stop thinking. And how I wished I could follow that advice. My medication for my ADHD helps, it slows it down, and that’s it. Which in a way, is enough for me. I wouldn’t want to shut downContinue reading “My number one enemy”

Be the wrecking ball in the world.

And I do not mean in the literal sense.What I do mean is, be me. Be my own perfect, achieve my own goals and expectations.Because I’ve always believed that people would watch me, judge me, and criticize me for who I am and what I do or say. They do because they do. Do IContinue reading “Be the wrecking ball in the world.”

A snippet from Thursday

27 January….. I do get scared, maybe too much. It’s not the kind of scared you are for a spider or something that makes your flight or fight instincts kick in. No, for me, it’s a scared or a fear that’s constant. Thoughts like, am I doing it alright, is this how it needs toContinue reading “A snippet from Thursday”